Guns

Guns don't kill people, bullets do. If you have a gun. Good for you. Seriously. It's like a right of passage, but here's the thing, don't take pictures of them and put them on the internet. I am not interested in seeing you in a mustard stained wifebeater while you hold your pistol sideways. Let's be honest. Your gun is never going to leave your house. You know why? Because you're a pussy. Only pussies have guns. That's right you big vagina. You are what you eat, I smell vagina when you speak. Chances are you don't even own bullets. Fuck it. Chances are that it's not a real gun. Probably an air gun you stole off of one of your nerdy friends. Looky here buddy, that piece of plastic/metal will not make up for what you lack in the phallus department. If it does get you girls, those girls are mentally ill and should seek professional help immediately. Shit. Now I wish I had a gun so I could blow all you Super Soaker cheerleaders away.