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Sunday, March 31, 2013

Forgot to mention

Channing Tatum gets killed early in the movie. Even in his small role, he sucked as an actor as usual. The end. In other news, Miley Cyrus is kinda hot. Click here to see what I mean.

My review of

GI Joe: Retaliation

Plot sucked but the action was decent. The end.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Celebs without makeup

Beauty is overrated.

Click here

What do you think?

Jennifer Lawrence or Beyonce, who's got the hottest bod?

Click Here

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The most

Overused and stupid Facebook status. I blame watered down rap and Oprah for this.


Hmmmm


Monday, March 25, 2013

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Typical things

Desi guys and girls say

Desi guys
You see that girl in the yellow shalwar khameez? I had sex with her.

I overuse MashAllah and InshAllah. Remember! The second A has to be capitalized or it does not count!

I smoked a cigarette once.  I was nauseous for 5 days. 

I had a great day at the gym today. I bench pressed 9,000 lbs.

I'm studying to be a doctor. My major is culinary arts.

You see that girl in the red shalwar khameez? I had sex with her.

I have remixed many classical Bollywood sings with such artists as Drake.

I've been to Vegas many times... with my family.

Nothing like smoking hookah and listening to 2pac.

I'm going to marry an Arab even though our families will never be able to communicate due to a language barrier.

I do not dine at McDonald's because they serve haram meat, but if you have a blunt please pass it.

I only wear Armani Exchange, Express, or something else that seems expensive, but can be bought at clearance prices.

You see that girl in the blue shalwar khameez? I had sex with her.

Really sore from my workout today. Carrying groceries from the car to the house really worked out my glutes, traps,  and core.

Islam is the truth even though I have little knowledge about it. 


I can beat anybody's ass. Well not anybody. Just Desi guys who can't speak English and are small.

You see that girl in the orange shalwar khameez? I had sex with her.

Money? I'll have you know I have been working since I was 16, but my parents still pay for my cell phone bill, clothes, and pretty much everything else.

I treat every Desi girl like my sister. That's until I start hitting on them. You know how it is. I can't control my emotions.

Bollywood? LOL! I don't watch that fob shit. No no, but for real, Baghban was a very good movie.

2 Chainz is the best rapper in the game.

You see that girl in the pink shalwar khameez? I had sex with her.

Desi girls
Totally got hit on at Starbucks today. This guy asked me what I wanted my order and had the nerve to say what the total was.

I will never get married. Desi guys are the biggest dogs ever. *After watching a Bollywood movie* I know one day I'll find my jaanu!

Had such a long day. Woke up at 2 PM then had to go down the hall to use the bathroom.

Desi guys are not sophisticated or intelligent. I attend a community college and work part time at a mall. I will take over the world one day.

Guys who drink are not hot. That's what I say in public so people will like me.

Forever 21 has the best clothes.

Saw the cutest guy today. Didn't see his face but the back of his head seemed normal.

Even though I have nothing to offer as personality and are quite ugly, I will marry a doctor.

I hate fobs, but I add them on Facebook. Their romantic messages make my heart skip a beat.

I'm so modern. The other day I took my dupatta off my head and put it on my shoulders.

Islam is the truth even though I have little knowledge about it.

Money? I'll have you know I have been working since I was 16, but my parents still pay for my cell phone bill, clothes, and pretty much everything else.

I will remain a virgin until marriage, because being a virgin makes you a good person. Nothing else counts.

I overuse MashAllah and InshAllah. Remember! The second A has to be capitalized or it does not count! 

I smoked a cigarette once.  I was nauseous for 5 days.  

Had a good workout today. Those potato chips weren't going to eat themselves.

I'm going to become a doctor. How difficult can it be?

I'm going to marry an Arab even though our families will never be able to communicate due to a language barrier.

I smoke hookah. I live life on the edge.

I straighten my hair even though it's already straight.

I'm very outgoing. I went to the library twice last month.




Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Monday, March 18, 2013

Shoutout

To all the people who want to get married to people who are financially secure, but do not have the ability to earn more than minimum wage. You should aim for the stars, but it's quite difficult when you're shooting from hell.

Shoutout

To all the pussy hungry dudes out there who have to resort to cheesy lines in order to get a girl to hold their hand. You're going to die alone.

Shoutout

To all the girls who ignore guys when they get boyfriends, but then run back to them after they get dumped. Keep it classy ladies.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Friday, March 15, 2013

It's stuff like this

That poisons the brains of young women.