Guys who

Feel the need to tell other guys about their sexual escapades are clearly virgins. It's damn true. Let me tell you a tale I was told a few years ago. The person who told me the story was not attractive. His hair resembled something that belonged on the head groomed poodle. To make matters worse, he had a thick Pakistani accent to match his deranged personality. Even with this being said, I would not be surprised if he got women, but the story he told me made absolutely no sense. He texted saying that he had 50 shots and 16 beers. Really motherfucker? If you had that much to drink I'm sure you would be dead. The text went on to say that he needed a ride. I obviously knew he was bullshit lying so I said I was not able to pick him up. Even if for some odd reason he was that drunk, I still wouldn't have picked him up. I didn't know him very well and I had class the next morning. I have priorities man, priorities. The next day he called and said that a very attractive woman took him back to her apartment. According to him they engaged in every sexual position that is seen in pornography. I kept my mouth shut. I did this because when people bullshit lie and you call them out on it, all they do is lie more. So there's no point. He then went on to say they went to a local 7-11 to buy something to drink because he was so hungover. I guess the 50 shots and 16 beers really hit him hard. She allegedly pulled out her wallet exposing her ID. He said he saw the ID which revealed her to be much much older then he originally thought. After seeing this he ran out of the store. There are so many inconsistencies with this story I won't bother to go through all of them, but as you can clearly see, the story is bullshit. If you believe any of the story then chances are you are a bullshit liar as well. So this is a message to all of the guys who lie, exaggerate or even tell the truth about their sexual adventures. Other guys are not interested in hearing that shit. It does not make us want to be you. It does not make us jealous. It doesn't even give us an erection. Please stop wasting both of our time. I am Baliwala. I hope you catch the Herpy Derpees. That is all.