If I were a vampire(inspired by a conversation I had with one of my loyal readers)

I'd get all the bitches. I saw the movie Twilight last night. I heard of the movie but had no idea what is was about. For quite some time females across the globe have been going nuts over the main character. After seeing the movie I can see why. He's a fucking vampire. He will never lose his good looks. He can whoop anybody's ass. Vampires are fair skinned. That's always a turn on for the females. In the movie the main character Edward Cullen is overprotective of his bitch Isabella, Oh I mean "Bella" Swan. Like out of nowhere he wants to kill any guy that comes close to her. His excuse is that he can't help it. What a bitch boy. She falls for it. In reality females tell you that they hate overprotective guys. This is called bullshit. Bullshit is when somebody says something that is not true. I'm glad I could clear that up for you guys. So blah blah, he kills some dude for her and they probably would have fucked, but that would have been too graphic. The end. I am Baliwala. I want to suck your blood so you will love me. That is all.