My old mattress

So I had this old mattress in my basement taking up space. Last year I bought a memory foam mattress. Shit was developed by NASA. You know what that means? It means I can sleep in space if I wanted to. I decided to sell that bitch on Craigslist because I'm a G status type of hustler. After almost a week of no replies, I got an offer. I was like fa fa sho. I gave the woman my number and we made arranged to meet. We had a conversation on the phone and she seemed really enthusiastic. I found this to be comical. Who the hell gets happy over buying a busted old mattress? Oh well, I was just glad to rid of it. When she was on the way she called and sound elated. She said:"I'M GOING TO BE THERE WITHIN HALF AN HOUR!" Chill out shawty. It's ok. You'll be sleeping on suitable furniture tonight. I get the mattress and take it out the front door to wait for her. She shows up with some dorky mofo, who is probably her boyfriend. They both approach me and look scared to death. I smiled back at them and introduced myself. I wanted to yell at this woman and say:"NOT SO HAPPY TO SEE ME NOW ARE YOU HUH?" I think they imagined to meet a gentle face but got a surprise. I haven't shaved in 3 days and I was pretty tired. I had an annoyed look on my face. The nerd handed me the money very quickly like it's a drug deal. Then I asked if they needed help putting it in their car. They replied with: "NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Holy shit, I'm just offering my help. I didn't offer to eat your first born. Chillax. I am Baliwala. I sell things that I have laid on. That is all.