The fob whisperer

I'm not big on saying hello or saying anything to strangers. Just not my thing. This isn't the 1950's. Fuck outta here with that shit. I digress. So the past couple of weeks have been hectic due to midterms. I've been going to class groggy as hell. Some might say even absentminded. So I head down to the library to get my G status pimp-hand strong swagger dagger study on. It's just how I do ladies and gentlemen. As I'm heading towards my destination a huge congregation of people are walking towards me. One of them is a recent arrival from India or Pakistan with slicked backed greasy hair. He looked like he was auditioning for a Broadway version of The Outsiders. As I pass this guy he feels the need to say something to me. Keep in mind that I have never seen this guy in my life. Looking back at the situation now, I'm glad that I didn't. Anyway, he leans over to my ear and whispers: "Go to the class." It was a surreal moment. What the fuck just happened? It's bad enough he surprised me with his broken verbiage, but it's even worse that he had to seductively say it into my ear. Homeboy damn near licked the inside of my ear. He was that close. I was too tired to even look back at this guy. I felt violated so I pretended at the moment it didn't happen. Now that I think about it, it's good that I didn't look back because who knows what the hell he would have done next. He might have tried to kiss me and then looked deep into my eyes. Fucking weirdo. I am Baliwala. I have perfect attendance. That is all.