Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Lately
I have been selling my old textbooks on eBay. I stumbled upon them while cleaning out my closet. Some of these books were fucking huge. There was obviously no need for them anymore, but I didn't know what to do with them. Then I got the idea to sell them online. This idea was born because I am "all about getting my paper" as some of our youth might say today. The first few books sold fairly quickly, but I noticed something. I noticed that one of the books purchased wasn't paid for. I was mature and displayed my patience by giving the buyer a couple of days to make the payment. When I realized that this guy wasn't coughing up the cash, I kindly messaged him to let him know that he wasn't getting his shit unless I got my cheddar. Did he reply? Fuck no. It seemed like he was intentionally not paying to piss me off. I was then finally allowed to complain about him directly to eBay. After two days of the case being open, he paid for the item, but also left a note with it. This is the note:
"Here is the payment. Please kindly well pack it and ship it to me with invoice at your earliest convenience. Besides, PLEASE DON'T use post office "Ready Post " envelope to ship. It's very easy to break and create many dusts. BTW, if you are going to send me any book not the same as the description, such as instructor edition, international edition or any book different from the ISBN. Please don't send it and refund me. It will create many headaches for both parties. Thanks again."
This guy couldn't be serious. This motherfucker must have watermelons sized testicles to make requests like that. I'm mailing you a book dawg, not a 100K diamond. I still haven't mailed it. He can wait. I am Baliwala. I exchange pages with words on them for electronic payment. That is all.
"Here is the payment. Please kindly well pack it and ship it to me with invoice at your earliest convenience. Besides, PLEASE DON'T use post office "Ready Post " envelope to ship. It's very easy to break and create many dusts. BTW, if you are going to send me any book not the same as the description, such as instructor edition, international edition or any book different from the ISBN. Please don't send it and refund me. It will create many headaches for both parties. Thanks again."
This guy couldn't be serious. This motherfucker must have watermelons sized testicles to make requests like that. I'm mailing you a book dawg, not a 100K diamond. I still haven't mailed it. He can wait. I am Baliwala. I exchange pages with words on them for electronic payment. That is all.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Donate
To this blog. Help cover costs such as server and things needed for the Podcasts. Hit the button to the right. Thanks.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I speak
and think in definiteness. There are no maybes. When it comes to thrilling the motherfucking socks off your girlfriend, it's not a question of maybe it will happen, it's a question of when. There are no "I guess so's" when it comes to me. You don't have to wonder if the next conversation you have with me will be boring. My tales will make you want to live vicariously through me. There are no estimates with me. You know every time I bring it 100%. You don't have to predict my next move. I will give you a handbook of the moves I will make for the next 3 years. You don't have to suspect me of anything. Just ask what you ponder. You'll get an honest answer in a half a heartbeat. You don't have to theorize what I look for in a girl. I said it before and I'll say it again: ass and titties. There are no assumptions when it comes to my race. I bleed green and white. You don't have to presume that I can be asshole. I'm like a vending machine. Whatever button you push is what you'll get. Don't take a stab at or take a wild shot in the dark when it comes to my morals. They are more solid than a statue. You don't have to come to any conclusions. My introduction spells everything out. I am Baliwala. That's who I am. You are what you eat, I smell vagina when you speak.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The following chart
is bullshit.
Well, not entirely. Women who are interested are turned on by men who ignore them, aren't women, but creatures with self-esteem so low that is near the core of the Earth. Men think that attractive women should be ignored. They believe this sets them apart from the other "thirsty" dudes who try to talk to them.( UrbanDictionary the term "thirsty" if you do not know what it means. Some men believe this will make them standout to a beautiful woman because they're used to being hounded everywhere they go. Complete bullshit. So what part of this chart is true? All of it. In order to know what a particular woman wants you have to gauge their personality quickly. This is a skill that many males do not possess. It is something that is acquired over time. I am Baliwala. I use data to figure out what women want. That is all.
Well, not entirely. Women who are interested are turned on by men who ignore them, aren't women, but creatures with self-esteem so low that is near the core of the Earth. Men think that attractive women should be ignored. They believe this sets them apart from the other "thirsty" dudes who try to talk to them.( UrbanDictionary the term "thirsty" if you do not know what it means. Some men believe this will make them standout to a beautiful woman because they're used to being hounded everywhere they go. Complete bullshit. So what part of this chart is true? All of it. In order to know what a particular woman wants you have to gauge their personality quickly. This is a skill that many males do not possess. It is something that is acquired over time. I am Baliwala. I use data to figure out what women want. That is all.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
For the ladies
Check out my friend's fashion blog. She posts pics of clothes and girly shit. ENJOY!
chic-behavior.tumblr.com
chic-behavior.tumblr.com
Shout out
To Doaly for the new banner.
Doaly's Photography FanPage:
http://www.facebook.com/doaly.design.services
Doaly's Photography FanPage:
http://www.facebook.com/doaly.design.services
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
It feels weird
Being on vacation from school. All of my productivity levels have gone down. I obviously don't study at all. I don't blog as much either. It's odd. You would think I would blog more with more time, but that isn't the case. The thought of typing for reaction seems foreign to me at the moment. Also, my creativity has been missing. Spontaneity has been absent. This is the key to not only my creativeness and willingness to share my experiences, but creativity in general. It's like throwing a cigarette on the ground and stamping it out. It's like turning off the faucet of a gusting tap. So bare with me because I don't know how long this dry spell will last. Thanks for the continued support. I am Baliwala. You can sleep on me, but when you turn back around, I'll be tap dancing on yo ass. That is all.
Friday, May 13, 2011
NBA Playoffs Podcast
http://goo.gl/UHRJb
Co-hosts: Alber and Adnan
Alber
Twtitter: @alberahmad
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/alber1
Adnan
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/aali47
Co-hosts: Alber and Adnan
Alber
Twtitter: @alberahmad
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/alber1
Adnan
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/aali47
It seems like
Some of my recent posts have been deleted by Blogspot. They were undergoing maintenance yesterday and some data was lost. If Blogspot does not automatically recover the posts, I will try my best to put them back up.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Gym shorts
I hated them because I wore then under my jeans. It was not comfortable at all. The thing I disliked about them the most was that they made my pants sag. This gave me the look of a future prison inmate. This is something I have never aimed for. One day I entered a crowded bus on my way home. I didn't mind this because it was usually crowded. Also, if a seat opened up I would grab it quickly. Fuck giving up my seat for a senior citizen. I just went through 7 hours of hell. You're probably going to the grocery store. I need this more than you. Fuck off. Finders, keepers. Today though, not a single seat opened up. As the bus approached my stop I started heading for the back exit. As I walked I could feel something odd around my waist. By the time I was at the door, my pants fell. I didn't even have enough time to catch them. Damn you gym shorts and your nylon material. Within seconds I hear this: "DAMN THAT WHITE GIRL GOT A BOOTY! I NEVER SEEN A BOOTY LIKE THAT ON A WHITE GIRL!" Uhhhhh. I didn't know what to think. Should I laugh? Should I cry? Was I just verbally molested? As I got off I saw a white girl next to me exiting as well. Was she the person they were talking about? I wasn't sure so I took a look at her ass. I had to. Just to make sure the guy wasn't talking about me. He was definitely exaggerating. I am Baliwala. I study the female anatomy purely for scientific purposes. That is all.
Monday, May 9, 2011
As a kid
I went everywhere with my parents. Mostly because I had to, but I also did enjoy seeing other kids of my age and interacting with them. It was a chance to go to somebody's house, make a mess, and leave without cleaning up. Very good deal to me. Once, a family that we had visited frequently ended up coming over to my house. After about 10 mins of chit-chat, in gibberish, because we were both about six years old, this kid is going to accuse me of stealing his Gigapet or whatever those things were. He then said I came in the middle of the night and stole it. What the fuck? Did he accuse me of being a cat burglar in training? I then thought he might have been referring to the last time I was at his house. I calmly told him that he probably misplaced it. He said he didn't. Then I said that maybe another friend took it. He denied it. I told him if was OK if he had juvenile delinquents as friends. It wasn't his fault. He still didn't believe me. Oh well. My amazing poise and rational thinking at a young age failed me. I am Baliwala. I do not steal small electronics. That is all.
Baliwala Banner Contest
Design a new banner for my blog. Dimensions for banner should be about 550X135. Use your creativity and imagination. GRAND PRIZE WILL RECEIVE FIVE DOLLARS THROUGH PAYPAL! I'm dead serious. Send submissions to balibali00AThotmail.com (replace AT with @). This is the only way I can give credit to people who have submissions. Winner will also get a shout out on a podcast. Good luck to everybody.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
It's funny how
Some guys and girls try to strike up a conversation with the opposite sex. Some of the things girls have said to me during our first encounter have been quite funny. Usually females will tell me that I look familiar. This is something that actually makes sense. I have in the past, and even to an extent today, look like the typical Pakistani male. I won't describe what that is. I'll let you figure that out on your own. If you have trouble Google image "typical paki guy" and you'll get an idea. Other times they'll say that they have seen me at a public event. Sometimes they'll ask me if I'm friends with a certain person. These approaches are not odd because many people attend such functions. I'll share an experience with you that I did find weird. A few years ago before Facebook had all the games and applications that is does now, I logged into my account. I saw that I had a message. This was exciting to me. These days the only messages I get concern some shitty party that nobody wants to go to. When I opened up my messages I saw it was from a girl. Oh yea! This should be good. The girl asked me if I was from Atlanta. Hmmm. Maybe she couldn't see my location because we weren't friends. I told her that I was not from that area or state. She then went on to say that she saw me at a club that past weekend. It was almost like she thought I was lying for some reason. When I lol'ed and informed her that I had never been to the state of Georgia, she replied with "Well I knew all along you weren't from Atlanta, but I'm very sure I saw you at the club I was at." Hmmmmmm. Really? Are you fucking serious? I wish I had the time and funds to visit nightclubs in other cities as a weekend escape. Did she think I was P. Diddy? I once again used a variation of lol to show her that I was responding in a lighthearted manner. I told her again that she had me confused with somebody else. Even if I had been there, what was the point of her messaging me? Did she think I would get her VIP access the next time I was there? Did she believe this could be the start of a friendship? Oh well. I am Baliwala. I visit other cities and pretend I am a doctor to impress unattractive females. Oh yea. She was pretty ugly. Forgot to mention that. That is all.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I enjoy
An occasional cigarette. By occasional I mean every 5 minutes. Before one of my classes I decided to enjoy one. I usually stand in one place when I smoke but this time I started to take a stroll. My attention was suddenly caught when I heard some yelling. A man and woman were nose to nose. I couldn't tell if they were going to rumble or french kiss. I moved closer to get a better view. Then the woman spoke these words:" I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S GRAVE I DON'T HAVE YOUR MONEY!" Right away I thought that this was an argument between a pimp and one of his hoes.I continued to listen and this is what I heard: "AND YOU FAKE AS FUCK! LEAVING ME THERE FOR 3 HOURS!" How was this gentleman "fake"? Where was this poor woman stranded? The man then started to walk as the lady followed. Then they both stopped and exchanged more words. I couldn't make out what was being said, but I could tell the woman was about to cry. To be honest the only reason I stopped to find out what was going on was because I thought the man was going to hit the woman. Call me fucked up, but it's something that I had never seen. When I went inside and informed a few of my classmates about what happened. A girl told me he didn't hit her because they were in public and that she would be get a slap or two later. Then another girl interjected:"MAN, HE AIN'T A REAL G IF HE CAN'T HIT HIS GIRL IN PUBLIC!" Hmm, interesting point. After some thought I'm glad he didn't hit her. I might have hid behind a bush and called the cops on him. I am Baliwala. I'm glad I don't owe anybody money. That is all.
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