I've come to

The realization,that no matter how Westernized a Desi girl might be, she will fall in love with at least one fob in her lifetime. This is a trend I've been seeing for over a decade. I've kept journals and developed charts to verify my observations. At first, some of these girls will actually ridicule recent arrivals. They will emphatically state how their appearance and approach to women is disgusting, along with their overall moral compass and worldview. Then one day the right fob comes along. He's pretty nice. Not bad on the eyes. Relationships with guys have not gone very well in this girl's life, so she decides to take another route and give the fob a chance. Before she knows it she has known the guy for 6 months and has developed feelings for him. At first she can't believe it, but assures herself it's ok because one can not help who they like. She tells her closest friends at first. They confirm her feelings by saying: "Girl, if he treats you right and likes you, and you like him for his personality, go for it!" She tells the guy her feelings. His reply is that "I love ju. I want to ah puckin marry with ju n shit. Baby, imma wanna gib u da wurld n shit like that." Fireworks go off in her head. She thinks she has been catapulted into a dreamland filled with honey and Justin Beiber clones. As the weeks go on, she becomes more confident about her feelings. She thinks if she introduces him to her parents they'd definitely accept him as a suitable husband. He can converse with them in the native tongue, and he is educated.... well not really, but he pulls mad hours at the gas station. Then one day while you're making a trip to Starbucks with your friends, you see him with an unattractive girl who is not Desi. You're heartbroken. You can't believe what's going on. For the next 3 weeks your Facebook statuses are filled with sad songs and depressing quotes that you've Googled. All of then in Hindi of course. You break down and finally call him. He says:" Baybee, is like i am make miztake. Iz like am drink Henny See See, and am not think thank rite." You go off on a rant about how much he's hurt you. How many tears you have shed. How you've stopped eating. How you don't sleep anymore. How you've lost hope on love and will be forever lonely. He apologizes profusely and you take him back. A month later you receive a text informing you that he's going to India to get married. You go into depression. The end. I am Baliwala. Bepore ju say pob to me, say to jor puckin mom dad. That is all.