Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Let me
Tell you about my Saturday night. Unlike most of you who probably caroused around town and visited the local pubs and discos, or engaged in other unholy acts involving bodily fluids, I decided to stay home to watch the Manny Pacquiao vs. Juan Manuel Marquez fight. I am a huge fan of boxing and it's probably my favorite sport to watch. I found a link to watch it online for free. If I were to order to it on Pay Per View it would have been about 50 dollars. As a cobbler, this is beyond my means especially in this economy. At about 7:30 my power went out. Oh great. It usually takes the power company about 2 hours to restore power. Sometimes it takes longer. I started to get into a crabby mood, but to my fortune it came back on in 10 minutes. Oh yea! Lucky for anybody around me because if I don't get to see my boxing, I'm like a kid in Toys R Us who doesn't get what he wants. Fast forward 3 hours, the power goes out again. As soon as it did I yelled out "YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" That was just a front to hide my fear. I totally didn't expect it to go out a second time, so I was shook. I won't lie. The fight was going to come on in less than an half hour. I went outside to see if anybody else lost power. It was only out on my side of the street. The first time it was out as far as I could see, and both times ambulance and firetruck sirens were heard. Something was up. Then my neighbor came out and started speaking, which scared the shit out of me. Then a cop drove up and asked if my power was out. Something was up. I felt like I was starring in a horror movie and it was about a half hour in, right before the first kill occurs. So you know what I did? I went right back inside. That's right. I wasn't going to be brave. No way. I'm very clumsy. I would've tripped on a twig and broke a bone. I called the power company over and over out of boredom. The power finally came back on and I got to enjoy the fight. That was close. I am Baliwala. My electricity runs on a third world country system.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Small things that annoy me
-People who jog with change in their pockets. Stop telling the world you have 32 cents.
-Guys who wear skinny jeans. I'm afraid you're going to start booty clapping out of nowhere.
-Thick framed glasses. You're not Buddy Holiday. Google it.
-Cigarettes that aren't lit all the way. It's the only time you'll see me sucking on something.
-The headphones from Dr. Dre. $400 for a pair? Fuck outta here.
-People who resent their race. The darker the berry, the more white-washed the person is.
-Guys who say bro all the time. We are not related. Stop saying that.
-People who take 2 sips of liquor and claim to be drunk. I just checked my pockets and I'm all out of attention.
-Red lipstick on girls. It's always looked trashy to me for some reason.
-Girls that ask me do their homework. Pay me first.
-Girls with ugly feet. I've been through this before.
-Guys who get their eyebrows done. The only arches you are allowed to mess with are the ones associated with McDonald's.
-People who talk to their pets as if they're human. You're not Dr. Dolittle.
-Wide ruled paper. It's just plain ugly.
-People who hate politicians but know absolutely nothing about politics. Read a book.
-Channing Tatum. Once again, I've been through this before.
-The debit option for bank cards. I have never and probably will never use that option.
-Unfluffed pillows. Nothing more needs to be said.
-People who laugh at their own jokes. Your chuckles do not count.
-People who returns texts 48 hours or later. What's the point?
-White shoes. Get dirty way too fast.
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-Guys who wear skinny jeans. I'm afraid you're going to start booty clapping out of nowhere.
-Thick framed glasses. You're not Buddy Holiday. Google it.
-Cigarettes that aren't lit all the way. It's the only time you'll see me sucking on something.
-The headphones from Dr. Dre. $400 for a pair? Fuck outta here.
-People who resent their race. The darker the berry, the more white-washed the person is.
-Guys who say bro all the time. We are not related. Stop saying that.
-People who take 2 sips of liquor and claim to be drunk. I just checked my pockets and I'm all out of attention.
-Red lipstick on girls. It's always looked trashy to me for some reason.
-Girls that ask me do their homework. Pay me first.
-Girls with ugly feet. I've been through this before.
-Guys who get their eyebrows done. The only arches you are allowed to mess with are the ones associated with McDonald's.
-People who talk to their pets as if they're human. You're not Dr. Dolittle.
-Wide ruled paper. It's just plain ugly.
-People who hate politicians but know absolutely nothing about politics. Read a book.
-Channing Tatum. Once again, I've been through this before.
-The debit option for bank cards. I have never and probably will never use that option.
-Unfluffed pillows. Nothing more needs to be said.
-People who laugh at their own jokes. Your chuckles do not count.
-People who returns texts 48 hours or later. What's the point?
-White shoes. Get dirty way too fast.
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Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Contrary
To what some of you might believe, I'm not an angry person. I am usually upbeat because I've had a very fortunate life. I've never had a cavity. I've never had to wear glasses or contacts. I've never broken a bone. I've never been arrested. I've never broken a girl's heart, well not on purpose at least. I've never had surgery. I've had and still do have amazing friends. My family has beyond supportive in whatever I do. I've never been in debt. I've never gone to sleep on an empty stomach. I've attended good schools with amazing teachers. My cell phone has never died when I really needed to use it. Even though I've been knocked down figuratively and literally, I've always gotten back up. I've never lost something of major value. I'm from the greatest city on Earth; Chicago. I am Baliwala. Anytime you think your life sucks, take a second and do what I just did. You might just find it isn't so bad. That is all.
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