A long time ago

When I was a broke lad, my friends and I had to eat at cheap restaurants. One Friday night we decided to go to Old Country Buffet, or OCB as the cool kids once called it. It was a buffet for less than $10. It wasn't the greatest food in the world but it got the job done. The first thing I did when we arrived was got a big plate of mac and cheese. I usually hate it but theirs was quite good. When we sat down I immediately dug in. About halfway through the dish I noticed a group of girls sitting behind us. I didn't pay them any attention. All of a sudden I heard the oddest thing I have ever heard. To this day I do not understand it. What I heard can never be explained. It has emotionally scarred me for life. When my eating utensil was on its way to my mouth I heard "THEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO STICK A BANANA IN MY TWAT!" being shouted. I was shocked. I looked at my friends and they were as just dumbfounded. My utensil( I call it a utensil because I'm not sure if it was a fork or spoon) stayed suspended while my mouth was open for quite a while. Then I said fuck it, let's leave. There was no way of recovering from such a comment. I hope others have not tried to stick foreign objects in that girls no-no area. I am Baliwala. Time does not heal all wounds. That is all.

My boy FightCaine

Today

I saw a friend I haven't seen in a few years. While catching up he informed me that all he cares about is money and the city that he's from. I responded by telling him there was more to life to that, like family and friends. I didn't want to get too deep. I wanted to keep it simple so he wouldn't be overwhelmed. He rolled his eyes and then told me that he was going to sip it until he felt it, and smoke it until it was done. I immediately got upset and told him that substance abuse is a dangerous road which destroys not only a the person's life who's using, but that of those around them. His response was "Well I'm still young." I said HA! But young sir, you are getting older at the same time. He pondered that for a while. Hopefully I'll get through to him. I am Baliwala. My friend and I were on one.....train together. That is all.

Certain things should be kept to yourself

Great song

Best Facebook status ever

Let me

Tell you about the dream I had last night. I must warn you though, it makes absolutely no sense. I was on a double date. I don't remember who the other people were, but I remember wearing a white cashmere sweater and rocking two stud earrings. I ordered pasta with ground beef. When it came, the sauce was watery and the pasta was uncooked. I went to complain to the owner. The owner was an Arab who looked like Super Mario. He said that's how the dish was made. I said I wasn't going to pay for it. He said he was going to call the police. I dared him to. Then out of nowhere a White guy came out of the back. The owner said I was going to have to "deal" with him. Then this guy started doing karate moves. I was like pshhh you don't scare me. I went to attack him but he beat my ass. It felt so real. My face was hurting. I went to regroup by going outside to have a cigarette. I then made a phone call. I don't recall to who. Then all of a sudden a band of like 20 dudes came to the restaurant. They were doing all sorts of flips and kicks. I looked at the owner and smirked. We then started to lay the smack down on the Chuck Norris wannabe. The owner disappeared. I went to look for him but he was nowhere to be found. When we left I was upset because I hadn't gotten to eat. Oh well. I am Baliwala. I wake up from dreams hungry. That is all.