Let

Me tell you about the summer class I'm taking. The subject is Rocket Science. The class is early in the morning. So while you bhanchodes are asleep, I'm on my "grind." Go to Urbandictionary.com to find out what that means. The class is fairly small and the professor is a nice guy. The class is very very boring, but I deal with it. The occasional fake trip to the bathroom helps me cope with it, but that's not what you guys want to know, is it? Nope. You want to know what weirdos have the pleasure of studying alongside yours truly. So let's get to it.

Blotchy Face: This is a middle-aged white woman. She sits in the first row, right in the middle. You can guess why I gave her this nickname. Use your imagination. During breaks I venture outside to indulge in a tobacco cigarette. She does as well, but she smokes some cheap shit. It looks like some primitive tobacco product from the times of the Native Americans. That doesn't bother me though. What bothers me is that she never has her lighter and always asks for mine. This doesn't bother me much either. What does bother me is that she doesn't know how to use it and takes up an unnecessary amount of time to light up. When I try to help her, she motions me away. Today, she said she had problems with the lighter because it was child-proof. No it's not bitch. It cost fifty cents and can break at any second. There are no safety measures with this dingy shit. But that's not the weirdest thing about her. The other day she just up and left. She didn't even bother to take her stuff. The professor made me notify security. To make a long story short, they didn't give a fuck. When I informed the class and professor of this, they were shocked. Shouts of "OMG! WHAT IF SHE'S DEAD SOMEWHERE?!" rang out. Highly unlikely. It's noon and the criminals have not awoken. Today she said the professor pissed her off and she left. Real mature. Next time don't come back. I mean ever. For the rest of your life.

Black Nonchalant Skateboarder- This motherfucker always has a skull cap on. Homie, it's 80 degrees. Let your scalp breathe. He always has a skateboard. He looks like a mobile homeless man. Going from area to area to panhandle. He sits all way in the back corner by himself. Avoiding all human contact. The first day of class this guy dropped his phone every 2 minutes. I kid you not. I kept track. He even dropped it at my feet as I headed for the door. I didn't pick that shit up. Fuck you Crisco hands. But you know what bothers me the most? When this guy goes up to the board, he has a look on his face as if his dog just died then he bit into a lemon. Take a second to picture that. Welcome back. It's kind of like when you make a child do something they pretend they don't want to do, but they really want to because people are watching and they want to impress them. God damn I hate that face. Even though he's positioned relatively far from everybody else, I can hear him breathe. It sounds like he has emphysema. You respiratory rundi. On the last day of class I'm going to take his hat off and beat him over the head with his skateboard. LOL JK! Or am I? Hmmmmmmm.

I am Baliwala. I attend institutions of higher learning who should be institutionalized. That is all.