Huh?

OH YEAH!

National

"Dope rhymes bro" day. Write "Dope rhymes bro" on all of your friends walls and statuses.

This goes out

To the Desi girl who gave me a dirty look this morning. Right before this I had another girl look at me sort of odd, but I realized it was because she was waiting for a friend that was behind her. She looked like the younger sister on Modern Family. Google image it. So after that I went to the side of the main building to smoke. As I reached for my tools, I saw you. The first thing I noticed was your nasty hair. You should get a refund for whoever dyed it, or a refund from the drug store where you might have purchased that awful color. It looked like somebody beat you over the head with cherry flavored Kool-Aid. It looked like you feel asleep and somebody attacked your dome with cranberries. It looked like you did a headstand into a bucket of rotten tomatoes. Within a half of a second I saw your face. You looked like you just smelled a fart or sewage. Instinct took over and I inhaled deeply trying to figure out what you might have been smelling. Then I realized it was me you were looking at and there was no odor. What the hell? I actually brushed my teeth today and kind of washed my hands. Today was one of my better days and this is the thanks I get? Now that I think about it, I should have given you a dirty look. Your skin colors rivals that of dried dog feces. Your nostrils are flaring as if you are always upset? Why so serious? Your lips hint that you suck on blueberry flavored Push Pops, or you're holding your breath. I can't tell, but your lips are bluer than Papa Smurf's phallus. Next time I see you I'll make sure to look dead in your eye and spit. Yea, that's right. Spit on the high ground you walk on. Then you can go run home and tell your illegal immigrant friends on AIM about your event filled day. I am Baliwala. Blind people love me. That is all.

I need

A valentine so I feel like one of the cool kids. So please tell me why you should be my valentine. I don't want to spend valentine's day like I usually do which is sitting in a dark room while listening to Brain McKnight songs.

Hmmm

I am all for

diversity but sometimes it gets out of hand. I was in class the other day bored out of my mind. I started staring at the cute girl out of my peripherals. Please Google "peripherals" if it seems foreign to you. I still take notice of what the professor is saying. It's a skill I am gifted with. I was suddenly alarmed when somebody yelled out. I had a hard time making out what they said, but I'm sure they said "deeper". It didn't sound like that though. It sounded like "dipper". The Milky Way Galaxy came to mind then the Milky Way candy bar came to mind. Don't ask me why it just did. Then about 30 seconds later another word perked me up. This time it was "ease". Instead of that being said "is" was shouted. The professor didn't even understand this person. He asked over and over, and over and over "is" was being screamed. I let out a ha but stopped before I got noticed. After snapping back into it I looked ahead of me. You know what I saw? I saw the Pakistani dude that I had recently befriended. I thought about some words that he pronounced wrong. You know what happened next? Out of nowhere this guy spoke up. You know what he said? He said "powerty". That's right folks. He's the type to buy a VW, and pronounce the first letter like the second one should be pronounced. My head dropped. For once The South Asian wouldn't have to be the one with a heavy accent but he ruined. I am Baliwala but you can call me angrayze ka bucha. That is all.

I have no words for this

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT BRO!